In Commencement

Across the world today, students are celebrating one of their great life achievements by seeing their name scroll across a screen. A truly uninspiring way to move from the frivolity of youth into the professional world.

Fear Not, young people, the best is yet to come. The disappointment you feel at this moment in time should have a silver lining or two. When you learn to find the positive in every short coming, you’ll be ahead of the game. Might as well start now.

What do you want to be now that you’ve grown up? If you are uncertain of the answer to that question, don’t sweat it. I cried on the day of my college graduation, not because I was sad to leave my friends or reveling in the glory of my achievement, I was struck by the notion that Monday Afternoon Happy Hour was no longer an option. I sure do miss it! I miss my old friends too. Fortunately, all of the things that really matter have sustained themselves. I learned a million things in the classroom and a whole lot of other things walking into the sunset after class on a Fall afternoon.

Don’t choose a career out of convenience. You’ll be pigeonholed into a life a compromise driven by comfort. Convenience, Compromise and Comfort…. these are the 3 C’s that are your enemy! If the direction your life is heading feels more like neutral than a Friday night drive, it is time to reconsider your motives. But, you’ve got to have a backup plan. There is no use pretending there is something better out there if it is in effort to thwart the responsibility of the task at hand. Don’t compromise a great career and all of the glory that comes along with it because you saw Into the Wild…. (there are many other worthy lessons to be learned in that film, incidentally).

Who you choose to love is phenomenally important! You can hate your job while at odds with your friends and family but your sweetheart will always be there to protect you. If you don’t believe that your current partner would be there for you when no one else is available, break up with them. While they should be supportive of you when others are unavailable, they should also be the first person to alert you when you are neglecting your potential. There should never be a filter of politeness between you and the person you choose to love. Love is a choice…. a beautiful, involuntary choice driven in equal part by common sense and the irrational passion of the heart.

Wonderful confusion lies ahead. Uncertainty is a gift. With every path unknown is a world of opportunity. No one has the right to tell you who you are going to be. Don’t ever let anyone put a finger in your face. Listen and be grateful for advice, but always know that there is a time to stick up for yourself. Believe in yourself based in the astronomical expectations you have for the world you are free to create. You are bound by nothing. What was cannot determine what will be. There are millions of people who will inspire you to become your best self and twice as many who gave up on their dreams only to deter yours.

Like what you like because it inspires your heart. You don’t have to listen to the Dirty Projectors because Cameron says they are rad. If you enjoy listening to The Cure because it reminds you of your dad, listen away, even if you have to do it in your car when no one is looking. Identify your own cool. If you haven’t had the chance to defy convention yet, it is one of life’s most empowering capabilities. When you go against the crowd to defend another individual for the life they have created for themselves, you have arrived at humanity. People are amazingly capable, far few choose to fully explore their capability.

Remember your tribe: the kids you grew up with, your cousins, the guy from the grocery store, the old lady you always see in church, the delivery woman, the coaches you’ve had, your friend’s dad who has found comfort on a bar stool. The same people you see on the way up, you will see on the way down. Best to be aware of that now!

The key determination of a person’s character is how they treat service workers. If you believe the person taking your order at a restaurant has an existence qualified by getting your order correct, you need to dramatically adjust your character. If you fold your hands in your lap around the boss, you should examine your priorities of respect.

Listen to great music. Don’t be afraid to cry in the movie theater. Find someone to love. Don’t be too hard on yourself but never feel sorry for yourself. Hold the door for others. Pray. Hug your friends (when you are allowed to again). Read books. Get a dog. Call your Mom. Be humble in victory and accountable in defeat. Be respectful of everyone but don’t take shit from anyone!

It’s your time now. GO CHANGE THE WORLD!

• Dave